Countries and Visa Discrimination.....

Compare the first map to the second map.... Obvz the first one is better, before even telling you what you're looking at. The first map is the visa free areas for U.S. citizens and visa free areas for Taiwan citizens. I swear Taiwan blows... being from Taiwan sucks. It means I can't even go backpacking in Europe because I would need a pre-arrival visa, and to get that, I need to have proof of hotel, itinerary, etc... I don't freakin know dude. I don't even know which countries in Europe I'm going to. I don't even know if I can apply for lets say a French visa when I'm in the U.K. when I'm holding a Taiwan passport being an U.S. permanent resident.

I've never felt so discriminated against in my life. I've never had any problems being a U.S. resident. Wasn't old enough to vote yet, so I didn't care.... I still get financial aid, I enjoy full benefits of being a U.S. citizen, and minus the jury duty... I had to get a Visa when I went on my school trip for Greece, but I didn't care. But now, I can't go backpacking in Europe with my friends, when none of them have the problem...

So being from Taiwan, I get visa-free access to countries that Taiwan provides aid to which are like random African and South American countries..... which is great, but is not helpful to me in this case... I also find it interesting that I couldn't even go to Bulgaria, Montenegro, New Zealand and Serbia even if I tried to apply for a Visa. Tell me that's not blatant discrimination....

At least I don't hold a China Passport: According to a study done by Henley & Partners, the PRC has a Henley Visa Restrictions Index of 18, which means that PRC citizens enjoy visa-free access to 18 countries and territories for short-term tourism visits. The PRC is ranked 78th out of 83 in terms of international travel freedom, which is one of the lowest scores in the study. This rating is far below those of Hong Kong SAR (#13) and Taiwan R.O.C. (#55) and is the same as that of North Korea (also #78).

So I'm doing some visa researching on this website that gives personalized visa & travel information... I'm looking for Taiwan.. not there.. I'm looking for Republic of China... not there. I finally find it under "Chinese Taipei." I think that's the official name for the Olympics too. Fuck One-China Policy. Fuck politics. I'm in no way in support of Taiwan as its own separate nation (I'm pro-status quo) but all this political mumbo jumbo is really annoying.

I hate myself...

I really don't like myself right now. Just not satisfied with anything. Right after I got baptized (spring 2007), everything seemed to go so well. I was so nice to everyone. Everyone who came into contact with me liked me, and I got along well with everyone. Now, I get into fights with strangers playing basketball, I catch myself saying not very nice things, and I seem to hate the world (ie I would get angry at just random people on the subway). I mean just look at my blog entries. It's about how I hate this I hate that. I remember my 5th grade friend told me that hate is such a strong word, and i'll always remember it. But for some reason hate is constantly on my mind. "I hate liberals, I hate Chinese ladies with sun umbrellas, I hate Obama." they did nothing deserving of my hate, except for the lady who poked my eye with her umbrella on a sunny day, but that's besides the point.

I'm not confident about myself and it reflects in my work. For organizational communications class, which is consisted of giving presentations, I got a b+ in the class. It was well deserved, in my presentations, I would stumble on my words, and forget lines. I guess it was because it was a scholar class and everyone is smart and has high standards. Whatever the reason, public speaking used to be my shit. I mean the same girl who entered a storytelling contest because I like speaking in front of large crowds. I just had interview for a selective club at stern, and I find myself stumbling on my words, unable to finish my train of thought coherently. I mean I probably got of because I really respected the girl and she probably felt that so liked me. I guess stern scholar and Morgan Stanley for 3 years makes me eligible, but still sucked at the interview. I used to take pride in my internship and work ethic, but it's common to everyone in stern. It also doesn't help that I've been at the same job for so long that it no longer gives me a sense of accomplishment. I suck at all my hobbies (i.e. guitar, oil painting, basketball, piano) Anyway the problem is that I keep think I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough.

Both these two problem is because of the lack of God's presence and influence in my life. I don't have the holy spirit in me, so I'm not producing fruits of the spirit. Instead of loving my neighbor, my heart and mind is filled with hatred. Loving everyone is hard to do, because people aren't perfect. When I see flaws in people, I get really disappointed and start to hate them. But God wants us to love everyone, including our neighbors. With God's presence and love in my life, it shouldn't be hard to accomplish. I felt this way right after I was baptized and filled with the holy spirit. I just seemed to like everyone, didn't get mad easily, and there was intangible of God's love and grace. Now, I apparently hate the world and can't seem to get along with everyone. I don't have confidence in my own abilities, but when I'm close with God, I feel like I can do anything, because it's not my abilities, but it's the Lord that I am able to accomplish anything. Since I'm not close with God now, I feel like I can't accomplish anything and is worth nothing. It's not even like I'm humble, but it's actually a problem with self-worth, but when I know that I am God's child, I shouldn't have this problem.

So Lord, won't you please come back into my life and rain in me again.

Stuff White People Like

Who ever composed this is PURE GENIUS.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

My favorite include (which are more directed at the hipsters/liberals in NYC):
#67 Standing Still at Concerts
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
#45 Asian Fusion Food
#41 Indie Music
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
#14 Having Black Friends
#8 Barack Obama
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to

Chipotle Epiphany

My coworker and I were in Chipotle by 42nd and 5th waiting on the long line for lunch. 3 guys walk in and head towards the pick up window. My co-worker said that they were hot. I looked at them, but they were just really typical looking guys that could work at Morgan Stanley. Definitely not hot. SO... this goes back to my other post on how perception is relative. She thought they were hot, because they were probably the hottest guys in the whole place, but that doesn't make them hot.

Okay what a stupid, useless post, but spare me. I'm bored, and I'm really tired of refreshing my home page on facebook.........

Daddy Chang's Conspiracy Theories

1. Fed funds were pegged at 1% from 2003-2004 despite a growing economy in order creating the credit and housing bubble to get Bush reelected.
2. U.S. is buying up all the crude supply in the world, forcing OPEC to produce more, without producing any crude within U.S. territories to use up the world supply and being left as the only country with crude oil.
3. After Japan was buying up U.S. properties (i.e. Rockefeller Center), the U.S. caused the Japanese economy to deflate in the 1990s through its twin stock and property bubbles.